My apartment has been colonized by roaches. Every night when I come home, I spend the first ten minutes kicking all of my furniture until my cohabitants scurry back into the cracks that they came from.
They usually occupy the surface of every piece of furniture, including my bed. (Please refrain from making any comments about what they do while I am sleeping, I work very hard to keep that thought from entering my mind.)
Tonight I came home and went through my usual kicking routine. One particularly stubborn roach, however, did not want to leave my bed, despite my furious shaking of sheets and thumping of wood. Finally, in exasperation, I shouted “Get off my bed!!!” The little bugger promptly obliged by running straight for the crack between the headboard and the mattress. The crack right next to where I lay my head at night.
I mumbled a defeated, “That’s not what I meant,” and then burst out laughing.
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